The only option someone has is to decide whether or not they want to continue to be in a relationship. Those who care for the narcissist tend to internalize feelings and accept blame, all while the narcissist portrays themselves as the victim. The narcissist will continue to demoralize victims and use them as the scapegoat for the narcissist’s own dysfunctional feelings. The Impact of the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Ending the relationship permanently or temporarily with attempts to continue this cycle of abuse.The rejection phase may include these types of behaviors: The narcissist in this scenario will complete their cycle of abuse and move on to the next victim. They are not interested in love and security. The narcissist will discard their partner, especially if they are no longer getting their fill of ego-boosting attention and affirmations in the relationship. In the rejection phase, the narcissist places all the blame and downfall of the relationship on their partner. In a healthy relationship, disagreements and conflicts are navigated with grace and patience as both partners are capable of solving issues and moving forward together. Withholding physical, emotional, and sexual intimacy.The devaluation phase may include behaviors like: When confronted, the narcissist plays the role of the victim (known as narcissistic injury) and continues to devalue their partner. Now, the partner will feel worthless as the narcissist begins to put them down, possibly by using verbal or physical abuse and physical intimacy as a weapon. However, the next phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle is devaluation in which the narcissist removes their partner from the pedestal. Most couples will grow deeper in their intimacy and learn problem-solving skills as they continue to develop the relationship. A sense of ownership of the partner and relationshipĪfter the honeymoon stage wears off, couples tend to form a routine that they can count on and establish together.Attempts to isolate partner in the name of love.Giving a lot of attention given to the partner. The idealization phase may include these types of behaviors: This can feel nice at first, but it escalates quickly and becomes overpowering and overwhelming to the partner. The narcissist will put a partner on a pedestal and make them feel perfect or incapable of wrongdoing. However, in narcissistic abuse cycles, this is considered idealization. This is often referred to as the honeymoon stage. The excitement of this newness is alive and joy is overflowing. In the idealization phase, the relationship is new and everything feels wonderful. Unfortunately, their victims are left feeling entirely hopeless and stuck in this cycle of abuse. Until they are able to reflect on these behaviors, the narcissist will not change. Narcissists behave in certain ways because they are unlikely to consider their actions as problems. However, this is not an excuse for the physical and emotional abuse inflicted on their victims. They too may have had narcissistic caregivers or parents or experienced some traumatic event that shaped their upbringing. Narcissists tend to deflect all of their feelings onto others because of the pain they feel about their own emotions. Narcissistic abuse follows a specific cycle of idealization, devaluation, and rejection.
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